


It's a Bad idea I know

by gunboots



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crack, F/F, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry I just wanted Hawke as a hot firefighter, M/M, Meet-Cute, Multi, and Fenris with glasses, rom-com hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 15:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: "Guest number 8, two forms of ID and the name of the test you're taking." Fenris says, logging into the system, barely sparing a glance to the person approaching the counter. "Your name?""Depends, can I get yours first?" On any other occasion, Fenris would probably have paused at the deep baritone but he's hung-over, stressed about not hitting his thesis deadline, and starving. He does his damnedest not to roll his eyes, and instead keeps his expression neutral as he holds out his hand."Two forms of ID and the name of your test." He repeats, ignoring the way Jowan is trying not to stare at his blatant hostility."EMT testing, need to reapply for work." Fenris glances at the stranger, completely at ease in the face of Fenris's irritation as he hands Fenris a driver's license and a beaten up passport. "I'm a firefighter."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact: Firefighters have to get their EMT licences and sometimes cities reserve testing centers—as a former test proctor who was running on no sleep/breaks this was like THE only light of my life at the time. I switch between the title 'test proctor' and 'test administrator' fairly often my bad ahaha. 
> 
> I'm sorry for like all the cameos and just—I just really wanted a hot Garrett Hawke as a firefighter and Fenris as a starving, dying grad student with glasses who may or may not be interested. I did some light editing but I've got no doubt there are probably some more in there, I'm sure. 
> 
> Title is from 'You and I' from Anjulie.

Fenris works as a testing proctor for Mac Tir testing center part-time in an existence that could be described as 'mediocre' at best and 'grating' at worst. The pay is decent but at the cost of no benefits and due to the unpredictable nature of his coworkers, he tends to work most shifts.

When he's not studying or working on his thesis he's doesn’t do much—but it's the principle of the thing. He may not have much of a life in comparison to the full on drama that some of his co-workers led but that was no reason he had to be called in to work on his day off for the second time that week.

"It's not like I LIKE making the phone calls either Fenris—do you understand how terrifying you are when you put your mind to it?" Jowan isn't actually his manager—he was just the unfortunate person who lost in rock-paper-scissors and had to make the call in the first place. Their testing center already tends to crowd easily on slow days, but the line of people is out there door and Fenris is fighting off a hangover from four hours ago—needless to say, he has to fight down the urge to visibly snarl when he clocks in and takes a seat at the front check-in desk. “I wish Dagna were here instead if it helps.”

"Dagna better be dying." Fenris resists the urge to rub at his eyes as he glares at the monitor before him. "Let's just get this over with."

"I appreciate all that you do." Dorian calls from the back, where he's checking the ID of some unfortunate soul taking the Real Estate exam. Fenris rolls his eyes and pushes up the frames of his glasses from sliding down further; he hopes his manager chokes on his lunch later, painfully and slowly.

"Guest number 8, two forms of ID and the name of the test you're taking." Fenris says, logging into the system, barely sparing a glance to the person approaching the counter. "Your name?"

"Depends, can I get yours first?" On any other occasion, Fenris would probably have paused at the deep baritone but he's hung-over, stressed about not hitting his thesis deadline, and starving. He does his damnedest not to roll his eyes, and instead keeps his expression neutral as he holds out his hand.

"Two forms of ID and the name of your test." He repeats, ignoring the way Jowan is trying not to stare at his blatant hostility.

"EMT testing, need to reapply for work." Fenris glances at the stranger, completely at ease in the face of Fenris's irritation as he hands Fenris a driver's license and a beaten up passport. "I'm a firefighter."

Fenris opens his mouth to snap something but it closes when he actually registers the man in front of him. Tall, thick, with black facial hair and a smirk that Fenris is annoyed to find is devastatingly attractive. The asshole winks and Fenris fights the urge to snarl instinctively, turning back to input his information into the system.

He stops when he reads the date on the passport.

"...I can't check you in. This is expired."

Attractive asshole's face falls, before reaching forward to accept the papers back.

"Wait, what?"

"I can't accept you to test for EMT testing with only one form of ID." Fenris repeats and feels equal parts elated and disappointed at the response. He waits for the inevitable shit fit that most people seem to give at the realization they'd driven up all the way to Kirkwall for nothing. "You'll have to reschedule."

He doesn't get one—instead the other man sighs and pockets the papers. Then he winks again at Fenris, completely unaffected.

"Well, I guess we'll have to reschedule our date for another time then." He continues, with a shrug. Fenris narrows his eyes only for the man to turn on his heel with a wave, disappearing just as suddenly as he appeared.

"...He does know you have a name tag right?"

"Shut up Jowan."

"Yeesh, Ok."

\---

As the last tester is checked in for the shift later, Dorian switches places with Alistair and Fenris sneaks his notes in to try and form some semblance of his central argument. If it has the added effect of pointedly NOT talking about his encounter with 'hot firefighter' (since of course Jowan had to tell Dorian and Isabela, the other test administrator on duty) then no one is more the wiser.

"You do know it's technically against testing center rules for you to date anyone during your shift, right?" Dorian says idly, unabashedly shopping for turtlenecks from his station next to Fenris. Fenris doesn't bother responding, instead continues to edit some of his hurriedly scrawled notes. "I'm just saying—maybe wait till 'Hot Firefighter' is done with his test before flirting with him."

"I wasn't flirting with him—I barely had a conversation with him."

"Are you sure? Because he definitely was picking up what you were putting down."

Fenris feels a migraine coming on.

"Shouldn't you be leading by example then?" Because Dorian is hardly the model of decorum that other managers are and is proud of it. Dorian laughs, far more pleased than bothered.

"Do as I say, not as I do." He replies, smug—like he wasn't dating a Cop that happened to test at their testing center.

Fenris rolls his eyes and goes back to his notes.

He's not interested.

Mostly.

\---

'Hot Firefighter’ is back on Thursday and Fenris does not give Dorian the satisfaction of reacting. He cleans the dry erase boards used for answering questions pointedly instead.

"God bless EMT event testing." Dorian coos under his breath as he takes in their reception room and the many men and women going over their phones and notes. "It's almost as good as the physical trainer exams."

Fenris notes how even Isabela is eyeing up a female fire fighter from where she was supposed to be refilling test instructions. Sera, a new hire, openly flirts with one of the firewomen, one taller than her by a foot and with distinctive facial tattoos. Truly Fenris was working with a bunch of horny teens. He sighs louder as if to remind them that they are all WORKING.

No one notices.

Fenris swallows down against the FIREABLE OFFENSE about fraternization and calls for the next person to be admitted.

Hot Firefighter is already at the counter before Fenris can call out his number.

\---

Hot Firefighter forgets his driver's license and with a rueful sigh calls out that they'll have to reschedule again.

Fenris doesn't catch his name this time either and even though he could easily check their internal system for it, he doesn't.

He's too busy really, that's all there is to it (at least...that's what he tells himself and everyone else that remarks on it.)

\---

Anders is a surgeon at the local hospital and Fenris's ex-boyfriend. Technically it is a FLAGRANT VIOLATION for Fenris to even be in the building at the same time as his testing, but Dorian and his coworkers like to watch how long it takes for either of them to snap.

"Would it kill you to at least fake pleasantries—"

"—Yes." Fenris growls, taking Anders's driver's license and putting the information into the system.

"Thank god I won't have to see you for another five years."

"—You're assuming you'll pass your re-certification. How generous." Fenris remarks, Anders shrugs genially.

Isabela, Sera, and Dorian crunch on popcorn and observe them loudly from the desk next to Fenris. Morrigan and Cassandra, the other two proctors on duty, thankfully seem less interested in Fenris’s love life and were both preoccupied with monitoring the testing rooms. Honestly, Fenris wonders why he could never have a shift with just them—if only for productivity reasons.

“Ohh, ouch.”

“Points for creativity.”

“You kidding? I expect better from Broody.”

Anders and Fenris don’t bother to acknowledge them.

“Oh Fenris, never change.” Anders replies, smile still firmly in place. Fenris hands back his driver’s license with a scowl.

“Take a damn seat so I can take your picture so you can check in.” He makes sure to take the worst picture possible.

\---

Hot firefighter’s female friend is named Aveline Vallen and Isabela seems to make it her life’s mission to get her to notice her.

“You don’t have to admit her and also give her the test—you’re not even supposed to.”

“Shh—I’m working my charm. I don’t know why she’s retaking the test, but I’m not about to blow my chance.”  Isabela is using one of the monitors as a mirror and adjusting her lipstick one more time. Fenris makes a face.  “It’s been like a week, you don’t know what could happen in a week.”

“And look how well that is going for you.”

“You’re just in a mood because hot firefighter hasn’t come by and you had to deal with Anders again.”

“I’m not.” Maybe he was a little, Fenris goes back to cleaning the photo identification equipment out of spite. Isabela already knows she’s correct anyway.

“Ohh, I’m sorry Fenris, hopefully he’ll come back and fail so you can see him again and again.” Merrill, one of the newer proctors croons, oblivious.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t heart that.” Dorian sing-songs as he walks past, carrying a box of cleaners.

“You’re the best manager.” Merrill trills, with a nod.

“Oh honey, I know.”  Dorian agrees. “Though, Merrill is right—Fenris you need to get LAID.”

“My future girlfriend calls him ‘Hawke’ by the way.” Isabela adds fatalistically, “I can try and get you his full name on our date.”

“Confident, aren’t you?” Fenris snorts.

“It is Isabela.” Zevran, assistant manager in title only and with the most sick time taken than any of them, chimes in from the front desk.  Isabela nods.

“Thank you darling.”

\---

So maybe Fenris is a little more interested in ‘Hot Firefighter' than he let on.

Maybe Fenris is a little disappointed that he hasn’t gotten a chance to flirt back with him on either occasion so far.

Maybe…Fenris is a little jealous when Isabela not only manages to get Aveline to notice her but also a phone number and a date.

He does not respond when Isabela leaves a sticky note with the name “Garrett Hawke” with anything other than a frown.

He pockets it later when she walks away and doesn’t complain once as she leaves two hours early—he figures its thanks enough.

\---

A week later, Fenris works his next shift with Sera, Zevran, and Alistair. They’re all late arriving to work so assigns himself to the front desk. Garrett Hawke is listed to take the EMT exam at 12 pm. Even Fenris is concerned with how obvious he’s being. Of course it has to be the day both Sera and Alistair work. Fenris is only lucky that Solas is their sole acting manager today and has less concern for their personal affairs than thought possible.

Alistair assigns himself as the other receptionist and painfully flirts at a gaggle of sorority sisters taking the nursing exam. At least Sera and Zevran were far removed from Fenris and hypothetical judgment.

Garrett Hawke, hot firefighter, arrives in a tight t-shirt that says: ‘Lothering Fire Department’ that looks sprayed on. Fenris is sure if he flexed, the material would rip.

Fenris feels his mouth go dry.

He’s covered in coffee stains, a large pullover that was the first thing he could blindly grab in the dark and his glasses are smudged.

This wasn’t even fair.

“Third time’s the charm.” Hawke crows, completely oblivious to Fenris and his pointed gaze, or more likely soaking up the attention. “The only real positive to having to come back here is the view.”

Fenris is aware Alistair is staring at him unabashedly and Fenris realizes he’s flushed.

Shit.

“Good Afternoon.” Fenris manages after a moment. Hawke clutches his chest.

“I get a greeting now?” His bicep flexes and Fenris feels damned.  “Is this the testing center equivalent of second base? Are you going to smile at me next because I don’t think I could handle it—but oh please do.”

God help him, Fenris finds this asshole CHARMING after all.

“Perhaps that will be a parting gift for you passing.” Fenris allows and ignores how Zevran and Sera were both ignoring their jobs and instead of watching the testing rooms, watching him and Hawke instead. “Should you pass.”

“If I pass can I get a name with that sultry voice? It’s been haunting my dreams.”

“I would think your job would be enough motivation for you to pass—“  Hawke waves the possibility of unemployment off.

“Semantics. Sexy test administrator, your name and potential phone number—“ Solas coughs loudly from where he was inspecting the lockers for storage. Hawke, at least has the decently to look chastised. “Alright, after hours potential phone number, since I’m going to be passing with flying colors.”

“—You know you don’t actually get your results from us, right? You have to wait two hours then go to the website.” Alistair cuts in, and Fenris turns to glare. Alistair holds his hands up in mercy.

“Expect me in two hours then.”  Hawke continues, grin toothy and Fenris can see fang.

Fuck.

“Pass the test first Hawke.” Fenris says, finally taking Hawke’s two forms of ID and starting the admission process. Hawke looks far from unaffected and groans appreciatively.

“Your voice is amazing.”

Sera and Zevran both giggle and Fenris resists the urge to flip them both off.

Fenris hands Hawke his two forms of ID back and says, “Turn off your cell phone, empty your pockets—“

“Ah, right of course—”

“—And it’s Fenris, by the way.” Fenris finally says as Hawke places all of his belongings in the offered basket. “My name is Fenris.”

Hawke’s smile softens, Fenris squashes down the urge to reach out and touch it.

“Well Fenris, expect me in two hours.”

“Take your test FIRST.”                        

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I used to work as a test proctor for a certain testing company so a lot of this is kinda accurate in that I flubbed the details a little because the NDA for the place was no joke. I literally wrote bits and pieces of this while working at said job so if it's choppy that's why. This is cheesecake at it's finest ok. 
> 
> Have I apologized yet for my own shameless want for vanilla? 
> 
> Side note: next time you do have to get a test in a testing center, please be kind to your test administrator—they don't hate you I assure you, they hate the fact their boss probably made them work a 12 hour shift with a 20 minute break sob.


End file.
